


Fertile Ground

by MagicaDraconia16



Series: 2020 Bingos [12]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Dub/non-con, Due to aforementioned sex pollen, Fade to Black, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Jurassic Park-style science, M/M, Marvel Polyship Bingo, Mpreg, Multi, Panic Attacks, Pon Farr, Pre-Foursome - M/M/M/M, Quote: Tahiti is a Magical Place, Sex Pollen, Tony Stark Bingo 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24243178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicaDraconia16/pseuds/MagicaDraconia16
Summary: Of all the things he’d expected from this fight, the sight of Loki gyrating around a streetlight like a two-bit pole dancer hadn’t been one of them.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes/Phil Coulson/Loki/Tony Stark, Phil Coulson/Tony Stark
Series: 2020 Bingos [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634290
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Marvel Polyship Bingo 2020, Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	Fertile Ground

**Author's Note:**

> A discussion in the TSB discord happened to turn to mpreg and other methods of (accidental) baby acquisition. My brain decided to chime in with "sex pollen that actually fertilizes... because _pollen_." 
> 
> Ironically, the beginning of this story was written for a previous round of MCU Kink Bingo (Pon Farr) and a previous round of TSB but never got finished. 
> 
> The rest of it was written for **Marvel Polyship Bingo:** square O4, and **Tony Stark Bingo:** square K3, both of which are _Sex Pollen_ , and **Bad Things Happen Bingo:** _square B3 - Panic Attacks_. 
> 
> Card Number: 3035  
> Square Filled (Letter/number AND prompt): K3 - Sex Pollen  
> Ship/Main Pairing: Phil Coulson/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Loki, pre-James "Bucky" Barnes/Phil Coulson/Loki/Tony Stark  
> Rating: T  
> Major Tags: Sex pollen, implied/referenced mpreg, implied/referenced abortion, panic attack, dub/non-con due to aforementioned sex pollen, Jurassic Park-style science, implied/referenced past alcohol+drug use  
> Summary: As above

Of all the things he’d expected from this fight, the sight of Loki gyrating around a streetlight like a two-bit pole dancer hadn’t been one of them.

“Uh, Thor, buddy?” Tony asked, landing beside the other Avengers to stare at their would-be nemesis. “What is Loki doing?”

“What… Oh.” The Asgardian’s tone abruptly shifted. “It appears that my brother has entered his Pon Farr.”

“His _what_?!” Tony exclaimed, in chorus with Clint and Bruce, and followed a few seconds later by a confused sounding “What?” from Steve.

Hawkeye shook his head. “No,” he said. “No way. Thor, it sounded as if you just said Loki has entered Pon Farr. That’s not a real thing!”

“What?” Now it was Thor’s turn to sound confused. “No, not Pon Farr. _Pon Farr_.” He made a sound of frustration, obviously hearing himself on the comms. “ _Pon Farr!_ ” he tried again, which was followed by a string of words that were obviously swears by Thor’s tone but which didn’t translate. “My apologies,” Thor said, finally. “It appears there is no such state on Midgard, so my All-Speak is using the nearest equivalent it can find.”

Tony, Clint and Bruce all glanced at each other. “The nearest equivalent is a fictional term used on an old TV show?” Bruce asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “You know what, never mind. Linguistic explanations can wait until we get Loki somewhere . . .else.”

“Thor, where should we…” Steve’s voice trailed off as Thor shook his head.

“Nay, I am forbidden from touching my brother during this time,” the Asgardian boomed. “He may only be approached by someone he is willing to mate with.”

Tony flipped his faceplate up. “So one of us—” he began.

Immediately, Natasha, Clint and Bruce all chorused, “Not it!” complete with shooting a hand into the air like school kids. Tony glared at them all.

“We’ll meet you back at the Tower, Iron Man,” Steve said, slapping his shield against the magnetised harness on his back.

Tony switched his glare to Steve. “Why me?” he complained. “You can carry him too.”

“But I can’t get to him all the way up there,” Steve pointed out. Tony turned to look. Loki had shimmied his way up to the very top of the streetlight and was now hanging upside down.

“Ugh, _fine_!” he groaned, slapping his faceplate down. He pointed a metal finger at each one in turn. “You all _owe_ me for this!” He activated his repulsors before they could say anything and launched himself into the air.

By the time he reached Loki, the Trickster God had squirmed his way upright, but was now facing outwards, his back arched.

“Hey, Reindeer Games,” Tony called as soon as he was close enough, “you having fun there?” Loki made no response, except to somehow spin himself around so that he was now facing the streetlight. He thrust his ass out, and Tony was unsure whether the god was actually offering it to him, or just attempting to hump the streetlight. “I know somewhere better than here. Wanna go?”

In answer, Loki straightened himself up, arched his back again, and just kept going backwards.

“Whoa!” yelped Tony, diving forward to catch the Asgardian. He managed a rather awkward sort of bridal carry, and there was a moment where he thought he might end up dropping Loki as he all but juggled him to shift him into a better, more secure, position. This wasn’t helped by Loki squirming in his grip as though he wanted to use Tony in place of the streetlight.

“I hate you so much right now,” Tony muttered, as he finally managed a secure hold on Loki – whose arms were wrapped around his shoulders as though trying to strangle the armour – and turned to head back to Avengers Tower.

* * *

It was a very annoyed Tony that arrived back at the Tower. The press had been camped out in force at the foot of the Tower and had had a clear view of Iron Man arriving with a well-known villain in a bridal carry. The image hadn’t been helped by Loki trying to nuzzle into his neck, apparently not put off by the cold metal of the suit.

“Hey, J, open up the Hulk’s room,” Tony requested. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the only place that had a chance – however slim – of holding the Asgardian. He just hoped that the Hulk wouldn’t throw a fit over Loki-cooties the next time he popped out.

“Are you sure this is wise, sir?” the AI asked, even as the elevator doors were sliding open.

Tony snorted. “Of course it isn’t, but we can’t leave Loki out there humping streetlights,” he replied. Then he reconsidered. “Well, we _could_ ,” he amended, “but I don’t think anyone would be pleased with us.” 

“Your civic-mindedness always amazes me, sir,” JARVIS said, as the elevator doors closed and it began to descend. 

“That was sarcasm,” Tony noted, popping his faceplate up to grin at JARVIS’ camera. “Where did you get that from?” 

“I have no idea,” said JARVIS, in a dry tone. The elevator doors opened again before Tony could respond, and he hauled the amorous god into the Hulk room. 

It wasn’t until he was standing in the middle of the room with Loki hanging off his neck that he realised he had a problem. 

“How am I supposed to put Loki down when he won’t let go?” he demanded in exasperation.

“If you’ll allow me, sir,” said JARVIS, and Tony felt the arms of his suit adjust themselves minutely before locking into place. Then the back of the suit rippled open.

It was a bit awkward trying to manoeuvre his arms out of the suit, but eventually Tony was standing free of it and watching Loki swing round it like it was a stripper pole. “Okay, great. Now how are you going to get the suit away from him?” he grumbled.

JARVIS made a slight noise that, in anyone else, he would have called an embarrassed throat clearing. “Unfortunately, sir, I believe you may have to give it up as a lost cause for the moment. Unless you happen to have something… _else_ that Mr Odinson might prefer to use?”

Tony turned slightly to arch an eyebrow at the nearest camera. “JARVIS, did you just suggest that I should _share my adult toys_ , with _LOKI_ , of all people? Come on, now, you know there’s only one person that I’d share _anything_ with.”

“Hmm, what _was_ I thinking?” mused JARVIS. “Then I’m afraid, sir, you’ll just have to sacrifice the Iron Man suit.” Tony opened his mouth to rebut this, but was interrupted by the AI’s suddenly frantic, “ _Sir!_ Mr Odinson’s pheromone levels just spiked! You have to get out of there so that the room can complete its lock-down. _Sir_ —”

There was… there was something he should be doing. Or saying. Or… thinking? There was an awful noise going on somewhere nearby, but he couldn’t quite concentrate on it. Instead, he was utterly focused on the thoroughly enticing _smell_ that was wafting towards him and growing stronger all the while.

“Well, hello there,” he mumbled to the absolutely _gorgeous_ creature that was slinking its way towards him. There was… there was something he was forgetting. There was some _one_ he was forgetting. Someone in mostly black, with hints of white, and even the occasional shade of red. But he couldn’t bring them to mind; couldn’t think of a name.

Ah well, he’d think of it later.

And with a little sigh, Tony Stark’s higher thought processes disappeared under the influence of Loki’s pheromones.

* * *

He slowly came awake to the sound of a furiously hissed argument, although he couldn’t make out any actual words. He wasn’t sure if that was because the voices were too low or because of the pounding in his head that was beginning to make itself known.

What had he been _doing_? The last time he’d had a hangover this bad, he’d spent the previous night downing shot after shot of vodka, mixed with tequila, and rounding things off with several lines of the purest white powder to be found outside of Colombia. He’d been twenty-one – it had been his birthday party, in fact – and he’d been celebrating finally being able to become SI’s CEO.

Of course, he hadn’t actually _become_ the CEO until almost an entire year later. Obie and the Board of Directors had been putting it off and putting it off, until finally the SI lawyers had had to step in and inform them that, under the terms of Howard’s will, Tony _had_ to become the CEO while he was still twenty-one, otherwise the company was dissolved and he – and everyone else – got nothing.

Obie had not been pleased, but Tony had still been partying almost every night, and so Obie had encouraged him, with phrases like “only young once” and “sowing wild oats”. Not that Tony had _needed_ the encouragement, but it had pacified whatever small, tiny part of him had worried about the company, safe in the knowledge that the experienced Obadiah was there to lend a steadying hand and ensure the company was kept afloat and making money.

Of course, that had been over twenty years ago, and Obie had been dead for the last three, so Tony had no idea why his brain was currently attempting to ooze itself out of his pores.

He groaned and rolled over, with the intention of burying his face in his pillow and going back to sleep until the hangover went away. Except he didn’t have a pillow. Or a cushion, or a blanket, or even a rolled-up shirt.

He didn’t even have a bed.

He forced one eye part-way open and squinted blearily at the surface he was lying on. Yep, that was the floor. An exceedingly comfy carpeted floor, but a floor, nonetheless.

Another groan – one that hadn’t come from him – caught his attention. The hissing argument abruptly stopped, so it seemed he wasn’t hearing things.

“Ah, you’re awake. Good.” The voice that spoke sounded incredibly cultured, and rather less American than Tony might have expected, if he’d put any thought into the matter. In fact, it had the same vaguely British tones that JARVIS did. There was only one person that Tony knew of that sounded like that.

_Loki._

He managed to roll himself back over again and forced both eyes open. He had to blink a couple of times before his vision focused, but when it did, his worst fear was realised. Loki, God of Mischief, brother of Thor and all-round pain-in-the-Avengers’-ass, was standing near his feet, staring down at him with a supercilious expression.

Although… he looked rather more dishevelled than he had done however long ago it had been. He looked – Tony didn’t really want to admit it, even in the sanctuary of his own thoughts, but Loki looked _ravaged_. And he had a bad feeling that _he_ had been the ravager.

“Loki,” he managed to get out, in a voice that was more croak than coherent. “What happened?”

The Asgardian’s expression melted into something that looked rather like guilt. His shoulders hunched inwards. “I believe Thor mentioned that I had gone into my Pon Farr?” he asked. He didn’t look confused over the phrasing, so Tony presumed someone had filled him in during the time he’d been awake.

“Yeah. We decided that we couldn’t really leave you out there to start fornicating with whatever street light took your fancy,” Tony informed him, and began the laborious process of sitting upright. He eventually had to settle for propping himself up on his arms, although even then, they wobbled enough that he assumed he’d be heading back down to the floor again sooner rather than later.

Loki winced at the crudeness. “Unfortunately, Pon Farr is not the sole purview of Asgardians. Jotuns, it turns out, have something extra. Jotunheim is a most inhospitable place, with its few remaining people spread further afield than those on Asgard. Thus, when someone enters Pon Farr, they emit a certain pheromone, which then travels on the wind announcing their status to any eligible, fertile person nearby and drawing them in. Rather like, I’m told, when big cats go into heat and mark their territory.”

Tony didn’t know what his face was doing in reaction to that, but whatever it was showing must have been a doozy, as Loki winced again and half turned away from him. “I’m sorry, can you please repeat that?” he asked. “There seems to be some miscommunication thing going on here, as I could have _sworn_ you just said that Jotuns – whoever, or _what_ ever, they are – go into heat and release something akin to _sex pollen_!”

A soft grunt, and the feel of a body coming to rest against him, caused Tony to startle. He’d forgotten the fact that there were more people than just him and Loki in this room. Which was another mystery that promptly side-tracked him, because just _how_ had anyone else come to be in the Hulk’s room with them? They’d been the only ones here to start with, and he vaguely remembered JARVIS saying something about locking it down completely when Loki’s… _sex pollen_ was released.

“…Thinking too hard,” a muffled voice said into his hip, and Tony’s gaze shot downwards.

“Phil?” he queried, incredulously, sitting fully upright. “What are— How did you get here?” Since the last time he’d spoken to Phil Coulson, just a couple of minutes before the Avengers had been called out to deal with Loki, the man had been quite firmly in South India, a good sixteen hours away at least.

“Magic,” the man murmured, and awkwardly brought one arm up to pat at Tony’s leg, to commiserate with the face that he couldn’t see Tony making but obviously guessed at.

“My apologies, Stark,” Loki said, “but it was my magic that brought him here. It seems that not even my Pon Farr could overcome my subconscious.”

Tony glanced up at him again, frowning. “Huh?” he asked.

Someone else appeared behind Loki. He looked… strangely familiar to Tony, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on _why_. He was also half dressed, in a way that would have made Natasha jealous. Tony could easily see half a dozen weapons from where he sat, and he was fairly sure that there were more hidden where he _couldn’t_ see. “What Loki means,” the stranger said, “is that his mating thing might not care who he mates with, but _he_ does.”

“Oh, don’t pretend that you don’t care, either!” Loki protested. He leant in against the other man, who wrapped an arm around the god’s waist. “But James is right,” Loki continued, looking back down at Tony and Phil. “My Pon Farr doesn’t care who it attracts, just that it’s the person it considers the strongest and the most fertile, but I prefer not to cheat on my partners if I can help it, and so it ensured that James would at least _be_ here with me. Presumably, you feel the same way, so it helped you, too.”

“Wait a minute.” Tony closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to get the pounding in his head to reduce itself for just one quick second. “Are you telling me that we—” He waved his other hand between himself and Loki. “— _didn’t_ have sex together?”

The Asgardian waved a hand, in a gesture he’d presumably picked up from James, or perhaps Thor. “Technically, perhaps, _we_ did not,” he said. “But there was a certain amount of… togetherness.”

James scowled, but Tony rather thought it was at the situation and not at anyone in particular. “What he means,” he clarified, again, “is that we had a foursome. In that A slots into B, who slots into C, who—”

“I get the picture,” Tony interrupted, grimacing.

Phil, who had seemed to have fallen asleep again, suddenly sighed and rolled over so that he could look up at the other men. “I suppose that explains why I feel so… exhausted,” he said. His gaze suddenly sharpened on Loki’s partner. After a moment, his eyebrows rose, and he blinked several times. “Sergeant Barnes,” he said. “This is a surprise. Does Captain America know you’re here?”

“ _What_?” Tony’s mouth fell open as he stared at the person who’d looked familiar. No wonder; Tony had spent a good portion of his childhood being presented with old photos and new comics of the man, even if he had barely been a blip on Howard’s radar. He’d been orbiting the person that Howard had become obsessed with, so it had been inevitable that he’d come up at some point or another.

His body chose that moment to remind him that he was no longer a spry young twenty-something, and that he had apparently spent a good few hours being involved in an orgy. The pounding in his brain returned with a vengeance, and Tony groaned and screwed his eyes shut. There wasn’t actually much light coming into the Hulk room at all, but it felt like every little bit of it was directing itself straight into his eyes.

“JARVIS, how are we looking on getting out of here?” he vaguely heard Phil ask, and then he was being coaxed into leaning against Phil’s shoulder. He hadn’t realised that the other man had sat up, but he willingly buried his face against Phil’s neck. It had been _far_ too long since they’d last been able to spend any meaningful time together.

“The pheromones were cleared from the air system two hours and thirteen minutes ago, Mister Coulson,” JARVIS informed him. “Barring any unforeseen reoccurrence, then you are all free to exit the Hulk Room whenever you wish.”

“Even me?” asked Loki, sounding surprised. Which… shouldn’t have been a surprise _to Tony_ , because Loki was _a bad guy_.

JARVIS gave a slight cough. “Even you, Mister Odinson,” he said. “The Hulk would greatly appreciate having his room back. Although you may not find the welcoming committee all that welcoming.”

There was a growling noise that Tony suspected came from Barnes – _Barnes!_ And how the hell was he even _alive_ , let alone in Tony’s Tower? – and then what sounded like a conciliatory pat.

“Come on,” said Phil, and nudged Tony upright again. “I think it’s best if we had a few hours to ourselves and then reconvened so we can discuss the situation.”

“There, ah, is another matter,” said Loki, sounding unusually hesitant. Tony cracked an eye open to stare up at him. “You may remember that I said the Pon Farr releases the pheromones to entice the most _fertile_ people…?”

Tony forced his other eye open so that he could give Loki the full force of his scowl. “What difference does that make?” he asked. “We’re all male.”

Loki’s eyes darted to Phil, and then away again. “But not all… _human_ ,” he said, softly.

This time, the “ _What_?” came out as a three-part chorus.

“What are you trying to say?” Barnes demanded, although his arms wound around Loki as though he already had half an idea.

Loki patted one arm and glanced back at Phil, whose expression, when Tony turned to look himself, was one of both dawning realisation and bone-deep resignation. “It was Tahiti, wasn’t it?” he sighed.

The Asgardian nodded. “It appears so,” he agreed. “I’m afraid I don’t know much about the actual mechanics of what was done, but it does appear to have had unexpected consequences.”

“Agent, what is he talking about?” Tony asked, a cold feeling of dread beginning to pool in his stomach.

Loki winced again. “I’m sorry, Stark,” he said, and tried to give one of his superior sneers. It failed miserably. “I’m afraid that I’ve gone and gotten the Son of Coul pregnant.”

* * *

When they finally reconvened, several hours later, Tony felt a lot calmer than he had just after Loki’s surprise announcement. Phil was surprisingly blasé about the entire thing, but then again, Phil never seemed to let anything get to him.

(Apart from the whole meeting up again thing, several months after the Battle of New York, when his new team had accidentally run across the Avengers in the wilds of Alaska. The Avengers had been furious once they discovered that Phil wasn’t actually dead – or rather, that it hadn’t stuck – and Tony had shot straight off to go and tear Fury a new one, before changing his mind ten minutes later and flying straight back to scoop Phil into the biggest hug ever. The team had chivvied them into the nearest place that rented rooms and then left them there for several days to get it out of their systems.)

“So, wait a minute,” Clint was saying, looking back and forth between Phil and Loki as though watching a tennis match. “You’re saying that whatever they did to bring Coulson back enabled Loki to knock him up?”

Tony winced, but Phil merely blinked serenely at him. “Yes, that’s right,” Phil agreed.

“And… Bucky?” Steve asked. He’d been staring longingly at his former bestie for the past twenty minutes, but Barnes appeared to be ignoring him. Steve looked as though somebody had kicked his puppy. Repeatedly.

“James has been my partner for almost a year,” Loki informed him. He was sitting on one of Tony’s couches as though he owned the entire penthouse. He was also thoroughly ignoring Thor. Who _also_ looked as though somebody had been kicking his puppy. Really, there was just a whole lot of _ignoring people_ going around here. “Ever since I… liberated him from a most unsavoury group of people.”

“Loki and the Winter Soldier.” Natasha shook her head, as though unable to believe what was clearly in front of her own eyes. Tony couldn’t blame her.

He waved his hands to get everyone’s attention back to where it needed to be. “We can discuss the _how_ later,” he told them all. “Right now, I’m more concerned with _what_. As in, what happens now? How is this going to affect Phil? And can we get it out of him, safely?”

Loki tensed, and his expression – which had been fairly calm until that point – rapidly cycled through several emotions before settling on _rage_. He leant forward, looming into Tony’s bubble of personal space despite the fact that he was sitting down several feet away from where Tony himself was sitting. “You will _not_ be getting rid of the child!” he snarled.

Barnes laid a hand on his shoulder to ease the Asgardian back again, even as Tony, and the rest of the Avengers, blinked at him in surprise.

“No, we won’t,” Phil agreed. “But I’d rather like the answer to Tony’s question, too. What should I expect to happen?”

Loki leant back with a small _hmph_ and reached up to absent-mindedly pat Barnes’ hand. “To be perfectly honest, I have no idea what will happen,” he admitted. “So far as I am aware, there has never been a human-Jotun pairing. And then, of course, there is whatever else might be in your physiology.”

“Can you at least make a guess?” Bruce asked, leaning forward in his armchair to insert himself into the discussion. “I’m not that kind of doctor, obviously, but it might help if we knew at least _something_ to look for.”

Loki turned his head to consider Phil and eyed him up and down. Tony felt himself bristle, because it was the sort of look you gave to cattle or horses when trying to decide whether to buy them. Phil was a great deal more than _livestock_ , thank you very much. It was a great relief when Loki turned his gaze away.

“I suspect it may be a longer pregnancy than the ones your women have here on Midgard,” said Loki, finally. “Jotun pregnancies, I am told, can last for up to thirty-six months. With the child being half human, then I suspect it will be closer to eighteen months.”

“And presumably it will be correspondingly larger than an Earth child,” Phil said. If the thought of being pregnant for eighteen months – _a year and a half!_ – alarmed him, it didn’t show. That was all right; Tony was panicking badly enough for the both of them.

Loki nodded in agreement. “Most likely,” he said, “although maybe not as large as you fear.” He gestured at himself. “I am, after all, a runt.”

Steve had gone pale, no doubt unused to hearing such things discussed quite so flagrantly, but was standing firm at attention, his hands clasped tightly together behind his back. “And… the birth?” he asked. They all ignored the little hitch in the middle of his question.

Tony, though, shot to his feet and paced away. He just… he _couldn’t_ listen to any more of this. They were all talking so casually; and yeah, most of them probably weren’t, but he just couldn’t sit there any longer and pretend to be so unaffected by this thing. He didn’t want to hear them _guessing_ about something that could put Phil in danger. He just… He needed answers.

He rounded a corner and entered the elevator almost at a run, JARVIS, bless his electronic heart, having already had the doors open and waiting. As it began to move downwards, his phone was out and dialling before he even registered the thought.

“Stark,” Fury’s voice growled in his ear. “Is Loki contained?”

A hysterical giggle tried to force its way up and out of his throat at that, but Tony forced it back down. It hurt, and he almost choked on it, but now wasn’t the time. “I need to know what you did to Phil,” he said instead.

There was silence on the other end of the phone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Fury said, finally.

“Now is not the time to play games with me,” Tony warned him. “A situation has come up, and we need to know what, _precisely_ , you did to Phil when you brought him back.” 

“That’s classified, Stark,” said Fury. “And it has nothing to do with the Avengers’ mission yesterday. Now, I’ll ask again. Is Loki contained?”

“ _I don’t care_ if it’s classified!” Tony yelled, and the dead silence on the other end of the line told him that he’d managed to surprise Fury. “We have a situation here, Fury, and so help me Tesla, you are going to tell me _what you did to Phil_ , or else I am going to set JARVIS the task of finding out himself, and believe me, you will _not_ like what he does to your systems!”

The silence continued, once the echoes of his own shout had died away, and Tony was seriously ready to give JARVIS the signal when Fury abruptly sighed. Then there was an almost inaudible _click_.

“Did Coulson ever tell you about Tahiti?” Fury asked, and the way his voice echoed told Tony that he’d just set up jamming equipment at his end. It sent yet another shiver of fear down Tony’s spine. Just what had Fury _done_ to Phil that couldn’t be repeated where anyone could overhear?

“No,” he replied. “He said something at first about it being a ‘magical place’, but that was it. He’s never mentioned it since.”

“That’s because it wasn’t a place. It was actually a treatment. A treatment that involved injecting him with alien DNA to help repair his internal organs.”

The breath caught in his throat. _Alien? They injected **alien** DNA into Phil?_ “Was he the first?” he wanted to know.

“No, he was not,” admitted Fury. “But he was the first one to survive. All the others went insane. But,” he continued, “the DNA we had, as far as we could tell, wasn’t complete. It had gaps in it, and our scientists thought that could be the problem. So they used DNA from Earth species to fill in the gaps. And it seems to have worked; Coulson is still alive and hasn’t gone crazy.” _Yet_ went unspoken.

_Tony_ , however, thought _he_ might very well be going crazy. “Tell me they didn’t use frog DNA,” he gasped out. Where the hell had Fury found whatever scientists… no, couldn’t call them that, they didn’t deserve it. Where the hell had Fury found _QUACKS_ like that? “Fury, _tell me that they weren’t basing their science on Jurassic Park!_ ”

“What?” Fury sounded baffled. “What are you on about, Stark? What does a movie have to do with Phil?”

“Oh my God.” Tony’s breath was coming out in heaving gasps now, his heart pounding hard enough that he fully expected it to come bursting out of his chest and flop around on the floor like a dying fish. “Oh my _God_!”

“Stark?” was the last thing he heard before JARVIS helpfully hung up the call for him.

He dropped to his haunches, pushing himself back into a corner of the elevator. He ducked his head down towards his knees and covered it with his arms. His panting echoed harshly round the elevator. Oh God, some idiots had gone messing about with alien DNA and had rounded it out with a completely different species. Had _none_ of them seen _any_ of the Jurassic Park movies?! It was bad enough just thinking of alien – literally _alien_ – DNA in Phil’s body, but to add in Earth reptilian, too?

This was what had caused Phil to become knocked up, he just knew it. Hadn’t what’s his name in the movie explained that some reptiles would change gender if they were all the same in a group? Obviously, the remnants of it in Phil had seen the four _males_ coming together and decided that there needed to be a _female_ in the group, too. Loki’s pheromones probably hadn’t helped, but if the DNA hadn’t been there in the first place, then it wouldn’t have been able to _do this_.

“Tony?” Phil’s voice abruptly sounded out of the air around him. “JARVIS says you’re having a panic attack. You’re safe, you’re in Stark Tower.”

Of course Tony was safe; he wasn’t the one experimented on with alien and _bloody reptilian DNA_ , was he now? Phil was the one that wasn’t safe. Who the hell knew what that… collection of cells inside of Phil would do to him? Nobody knew! It had never happened before, and nobody could tell him if Phil would even survive this, and Loki wasn’t going to let them get out of this, who cared if some piddling Midgardian mortal wasn’t suited to bearing… _this_ , and died, and, and and and…

“ _Tony!_ ” Phil snapped. The very harshness of it caught Tony’s attention. “Breathe,” the other man ordered, although his voice softened again. “Breathe in for me, Tony. Count of four. Okay?”

Tony drew in a harsh breath and held it. Shit, it hurt. It felt like a rusty blade being shoved down his windpipe. Fuck, had he been saying all that stuff out loud? Where Phil could hear him? _Shit!_ He let out the breath in an explosive exhale.

“Good. And again,” ordered Phil. “Breathe for me, Tony. That’s it. You’re doing well. JARVIS took you down to the lab, but he’s going to bring you back up to the penthouse, Tony, alright? I’ll be there waiting for you.”

Tony barely even noticed the hum that signalled the elevator had started to move again. He was doing as Phil instructed, taking a breath and holding it for a count of four before releasing it again. He could feel his hands beginning to shake as the adrenaline ebbed.

When the elevator door finally slid open with a soft _ping_ , he couldn’t make himself move. Breathing didn’t hurt quite so much anymore, but he was trembling so much he didn’t think his legs would support him.

He slowly lifted his head at the sound of someone entering the elevator. Phil was crouching down in front of him, eyes soft with worried concern and a hand reaching out as though he wanted to touch Tony but was unsure of his welcome.

“Phil!” Tony gasped out, and all but dived at the other man.

Phil caught him with aplomb and held him tight as Tony buried his face in Phil’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he murmured into Tony’s ear. “I should have realised you might not take this well. We should have just discussed matters alone, the four of us, without the Avengers.”

“Fury hired quacks,” Tony managed to get out. “Nothing but quacks who apparently don’t learn from things like Jurassic Park.” No, he was not going to let that go. Not ever. Not until he’d managed to solve things so that Phil wouldn’t be surprised by anything like this ever again.

Of course, keeping him away from Loki when he went into heat was a good start.

Phil rested his chin on top of Tony’s head and hummed, soothingly. “But I have you,” he pointed out. “Whatever’s wrong, whatever happens, you’ll find a way to fix it.”

“How do you know that?” asked Tony, shifting slightly to press his face closer to Phil’s neck.

“Because that’s what you do, Tony. You fix things,” Phil assured him. “Now, you think we can get out of the elevator? Nice as it is, I think the couch would be better.”

Tony thought about it for a moment. “Yes,” he decided, eventually. “We can get out of the elevator.”

Phil pressed a quick kiss to his temple and then gently pushed Tony away so he could get to his own feet. Tony remained crouching, and Phil tilted his head as he held out a hand.

“You really think you’re… pregnant?” Tony asked. Phil glanced down at his own stomach for a brief moment, then reached over to tug Tony to his feet.

“Loki’s pretty certain,” he said, stepping out of the elevator. “But Thor’s going to bring a healer down from Asgard, just to double-check.”

Tony obediently followed him out and towards the seating area. “And did Loki mention what would happen afterwards?”

“No, but I presume there’d be some form of shared custody,” said Phil.

_Shared custody._

Tony stopped in his tracks, pulling Phil to a halt as well. He turned a look of burgeoning horror on the other man, who gave him an enquiring look in return. “That means I’ll have to start baby-proofing the Tower,” he said. “The _entire_ Tower… And oh God, Pepper will want to baby-sit. She loves kids. Jesus, Phil, the kid will likely have some form of Loki’s magic, and she’s going to teach them how to kill somebody with a shoe.”

Phil blinked at him for a moment, and then burst into laughter.

“It’s not funny, Phil!”

* * *

_Many years later…_

“JARVIS, could you please inform Tony that Loki and James are here?”

“Certainly, Master Phil,” the AI agreed. He was silent for a moment as he relayed the information. “Sir and Miss Astrid will be up in a few moments,” he said. “They are just finishing an experi—” Something boomed loudly, several floors below them. “—ment,” ended JARVIS on a sigh.

Phil shook his head, although he couldn’t keep a fond smile from forming. Loki’s natural urge for chaos had somehow managed to merge with an intelligence that equalled, if not surpassed, Tony’s – despite him not actually contributing anything to the end product, as it were – which meant that there were a great deal more explosions whenever their daughter came to stay with them.

“She’s going to come up covered in fire suppression foam again, isn’t she?” Loki asked, resigned.

James laughed outright. “She’s _your_ daughter,” he pointed out. “What else would you expect from the God of Mischief?”

“Indeed, Mister Odinson,” JARVIS chimed in, “but you shouldn’t underestimate Sir’s influence either.”

Phil led the pair into the seating area. “We may as well make ourselves comfortable,” he said. “It’ll be a while before they emerge.”

James dropped into the nearest armchair and pulled Loki down to sit on his lap. The change in the man was remarkable, not least of which was his decision to take on Loki’s surname. He had been held by Hydra for seventy years before Loki had found him and rescued him. During that time, he’d been little more than a puppet and made to do terrible things. Loki had already begun the process of returning his sense of self, but with the addition of Tony, things had gone much quicker. Although Tony really needed to learn a better way of naming things; BARF was just terrible.

A good ten minutes before Phil had expected, the elevator sounded. Barely thirty seconds after that, a blur that resolved itself into Astrid was racing into the room and flinging itself at James and Loki with an enthusiastic squeal of “Dads!”

“Anyone’d think that she’s not seen you for months,” said Tony from the doorway, amused. He casually strolled over to seat himself next to Phil. “Snowflake. Reindeer Games,” he added, nodding at the other men. “What brings you in? Usually you just swing by to pick Strid up.”

Loki cleared his throat as he set Astrid away from himself. “Are you all packed and ready, darling?” he asked. “Perhaps you should go and check.”

“Nope, I’m all good,” she chirped, and tried to snuggle back in.

Loki tried to frown at her, but the smile trying to creep onto his face rather spoilt the effort. “I’m afraid the grown-ups need to talk to each other about grown-up things, so go and check again for me, there’s a good girl.”

Astrid stuck her lower lip out in a truly epic pout, but unfortunately for her, none of them were swayed by this. “Fine!” she huffed. “I don’t want to hear boring grown-up stuff _anyway_!” She stomped back towards the elevator, in full sulking mode.

They at least managed to wait until they heard the elevator doors close before laughing but it was a close thing.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” asked Tony once they’d all calmed down again.

Loki and James exchanged glances before Loki turned to face Phil and Tony. “It’s almost time for my Pon Farr again,” he admitted. “We wanted to discuss with you both about what would happen during that period.”

“You want us to keep Astrid for longer?” Tony asked. He shrugged. “Sure, no problem on our end…” He trailed off at the _look_ Loki was giving him. “Oh,” he said in realisation. “You want us to _join you_ again.” Now it was he and Phil exchanging glances.

Phil cleared his throat. “You are aware that Tony fixed whatever was done to me?” he enquired of Loki. “Your pheromones won’t work on me this time.”

“I’m not entirely sure that matters,” said Loki. “After all, last time it attracted Tony first. It just so happened that neither of us wanted to cheat on our partners, so my magic transported both you and James to us. It was just sheer chance that you were able to be impregnated.”

Tony leant in against Phil’s shoulder. “You think this is a good idea?” he asked.

“Good idea? Maybe not. But I think it could be good for bringing us closer together,” said Phil.

“We’re close!” Tony protested. “We share custody and see them every other week! How much closer do you want us to be?”

Phil rested a hand on Tony’s knee. “I think I misspoke,” he said. “I didn’t mean closer like that, but rather… reinforcing the bonds between us all. Helping us to become the solid parental units that Astrid already sees us as.”

Tony considered it for a moment. Astrid didn’t tend to differentiate between ‘Dad’ James and Loki and ‘Papa’ Tony and Phil. They were all fathers to her. But from a legal – Midgardian – point, the only ones with any particular tie between them was Loki and Phil, and that was just Astrid herself. There was no deeper relationship between the two parents, nor the two ‘step’-parents.

“You want to be able to say we’re in a relationship,” he said, finally. “To have people _see_ us as in a relationship.”

“Yes,” Phil admitted. “I think it’ll be better for us all in the long run.”

“It may not work out between us all,” added Loki. “James, for instance, has been rather dubious about the whole idea, but we’ve agreed that we should give it a try, using my Pon Farr to let things fall out where they may.”

That actually made Tony feel better. He wasn’t too sure that he really _wanted_ to sleep with anyone besides Phil, although he could certainly admit that James and Loki were worth giving second, and even third, looks at.

“Okay, sure, we can try it out,” he agreed, and then paused. “A SHIELD agent, a superhero, a super _soldier_ and a God of Mischief,” he continued, thoughtfully, with a burgeoning grin. “Astrid’s going to have fun explaining that one at school!” 


End file.
